Remember when I did my “Only In Essex” post? Well, this post is kind of like that. But I don’t want people to get the wrong idea, like I’m making fun of Essex. Hello, I live here and love every second of our adventures that come with the Essex territory. So here you go, enjoy!
This morning I went to walk the dog and discovered something unique (to say the least) sitting in the hallway of our apartment complex.
It scared the $hit out of me and the dog wouldn’t even walk near that thing.
Matt texted me this morning with, “Don’t be alarmed by the giant pony sitting at the bottom of our steps in the apartment hallway…only in Essex.”
You know that something is so “Essex” when your husband has to warn you about it. (Although, I got this text after I had the pleasure of getting the crap scared out of me by this enormous stuffed pony.)
I’m not going to lie, totally made my morning; one of the many joys of living in Essex.
While living in Essex, I have also had the pleasure of living close to one of the funniest women I have ever meant. (I won’t mention names, but all the girls in the neighborhood know exactly who I’m talking about. And she knows who she is- J).
This is just some of the many hilarious and crude things that come out of her mouth…
Warning: If you don’t like crude, stop reading this post now! Lol
Neighbor’s response to dinner to her husband, “You can eat off of my fine china*”
Me, “How was camping?”
Neighbor, “I’m tired, my vagina stinks and my ass itches.”
Neighbor, “Jess, did you like the text picture of my boobs?”
Neighbor, “Watch out I have really bad gas.”
You should have seen her idea of how to get more steps on her pedometer for her work exercise contest. Let’s just say it involved her being on her back, legs in the air (shaking).
And when I told her about this post, she emailed me back with, “I need my anal glands squeezed!!!!!”
How does she think of this stuff? OMG! Seriously, makes me laugh out loud.
All the crude talk aside…The number one thing I love about living in Essex…
Being able to see this precious baby boy every single day!
I feel so blessed that I will be living four houses (instead of two blocks) away from this little boy!
I also love all the Debbie Ave B’s and all their craziness…..
Settlement on Halloween should be fun. Matt and I are thinking about sitting out front of our new house and handing out candy. (Although, we’ll probably walk around with all our neighbors).
*Fine China= private parts.
(Yes, she is bad)