Friday, September 9, 2011

"Only in Essex..."

My girlfriend, Jess and I have this ongoing joke about living in Essex. The joke always starts with “Only in Essex…” then we share something totally random that happened to us or something totally odd that we witnessed in Essex.  I wanted Jess’ blog to be called “only in Essex” and for her to only tell crazy stories that have happened to her while living in Essex (that’s how many weird things go on).
Now, don’t get me wrong, I love living in Essex. I love that I’m so close to my sister and nephew and also my bf, Jess. I also love that you can literally wear whatever you want to the grocery store and pretty much guarantee you’ll still be the best dressed person there. I also love the fact that your neighbor would give you the shirt off his/hers back if you needed it. Essex gets a bad reputation but honestly it “ain’t” that bad. (I also love the small seafood restaurants on the water. They’re the best).
Anyway, Jess and I didn’t grow up in Essex; so sometimes the things we encounter seem just straight odd and very stereotypical of the “Essex” reputation. The $hit we’ve seen varies and always makes you giggle and say, “Only in Essex.”
Only in Essex, do babies not wear shirts and eat their feet. (My adorbale nephew, Trav.) I love this picture, makes me laugh).  

“Only in Essex…”
-           Only in Essex, would your neighbor ask you (very casually); “Is that one of them sniffin dogs?”
Me, “Huh?”
Neighbor, “You know one of them sniffin dogs.”
Me, blank stare.
Neighbor, “Because I got me some illegal %hit growing in my backyard and I don’t want that dog of yours finding it.”
Me, (awkward laugh) “Oh no.”

-          Only in Essex, you call Royal Farms “The Farm Store” and Walmart “The Walmart.”

-          Only in Essex, would your (very sweet) neighbor get free (expired) food from the church and leave it on your door step. Ranging from Italian Ice to Potatoes. (Let me tell you, rotten potatoes SMELL like a$$!)

-          Only in Essex, do you know exactly who I’m talking about, when I mention the woman in the wheelchair who pushes herself with her legs all up and down the streets of Essex. (Kind of confusing, how does she push herself with her legs?)

-          Only in Essex, would you have a neighbor named Ms. Billie and her dog named, Archie.  Ms. Billie loved telling me, “I’m sorry, Mandy. I ain’t wearin no bra. You know in the 60’s none of us did.” (I loved her, her and the dog moved a couple months back).

-          Only in Essex, someone would have a mean pit-bull dog named Princess. 

-          Only in Essex, does everyone justify their WT (white trash) behavior by saying, “It’s fine, I’m from Essex.”(I’m guilty, as charged).
So is my sister for letting my nephew rock just his diaper- Ha!
Total Essex Baby.
During the bad rain storm the other day, I had to walk Chase. It was pouring. Chase wouldn’t go to the bathroom. I was soaked. So I took off my flip flops and rolled up my pants and walked barefoot around the neighborhood. I thought to myself, “It’s fine, I’m Essex”  

The list goes on and on. I love these random things. This is what keeps life interesting. (When Matt and I do move I’m going to be so sad).  So many great funny memories from our three years living down in Essex.

Sidenote: I told my sister and Jess that they will have to guest post on here and tell their Essex stories! You can also read both their blogs here and here.


laura said...

that's right Essex baby born and raised!! I am a bit more essex then you since I went to HS there. Also Traci and I spell essex "esse*" because once there was a flyer on her door and that is how is was spelt.

I have to say I am 100% comfortable living here, and I really do love my neighbors and all the esse* charm :)


laura said...

And in defense of the last picture my child is wearing shoes. So he may be esse* but he ain't dundalk.

Mandy Bogdan said...

LMAO!! Love it! Best line ever "But he ain't no Dundalk" lol

laura said...

Also in the picture of him eating his feet...Steve was in Mace Liqours while me and my shirtless baby were waiting in the car. Classy x 2.

Anonymous said...

You know what else is "Only in Essex"? People refer to everyone as you's.

Cathy from Carroll County
Not that different from Essex...

Mandy Bogdan said...

"you's guys" going up the farm store?

Cathy, nailed it.

Anonymous said...

"Only in Essex", it's also okay for one woman to kick another woman's a**, when her sister sleeps with her husband.


Anonymous said...

"Only in Essex" you may hear such phrases as "If you's guys are goin' up the farm store, would you's mind pickin' me up a pack a matches and some Marlboro menthol lights?"


Jessica said...

OMG! I die over this post!

It's so true...there are WAY to MANY good "Only in Essex" stories! I am totally going to miss you bunches if you move away from here, it won't be the same!! :(

So let me leave you with this one...

"Only in Essex" do you see a man who looks just like your father waiting at a bus stop that you literally have to do a double take. Only to find out it was actually your uncle!

True Story...loll